The Moment of Thruth
by Luthlaya
Summary: Merlin, I'm afraid.." Merlins and Arthurs toughts and feelings on Will's death in 'Moment of Thruth'


**DISCLAIMED! **

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Tears rolled silently down Merlin's cheeks as they rode back to Camelot. It had only hit him just now. Will was dead. Gone. He would never see his friend again. And just before he died, Will had taken the blame for something he, Merlin, had done. Arthur didn't know he was a Warlock – at least, he hoped he didn't, but he couldn't be sure if Arthur had believed Will's confession- and perhaps it was for the better. Merlin still had _no clue_ as to how his friend would react had he told him the truth. Would he have been angry? Or would he have accepted Merlin? He couldn't risk it. He had to protect Arthur, and seeing as he couldn't do that if the were dead, he had to lie. He would do _anything_ to protect his prince, he simply had no choice.

_"Merlin..... I'm afraid"_

Will's last words kept echoing in his mind. It still felt so surreal, as if it was a dream. Of course he knew that young people died too, it was a harsh world, and he'd seen it happen before. But somehow, he never really realised it could happen to someone this close to him as well. Even when Arthur was in mortal danger, he'd always gotten him out of it. He felt as though Will would be right there, the next time he visited Ealdor, but he wouldn't. Will was _gone_, he would never come back. And if Merlin ever returned to Ealdor, his friend would not be there.

Why? _Why _did his best friend have to get hit by that stupid arrow? It should have been him, not Will. He was the one who was supposed to protect Arthur. And therefore, he should have taken that hit. Guilt coursed through his entire being. It was his fault Will was dead. He hadn't been paying attention, because he'd thought Arthur found out about him being a Warlock. If he'd just had the guts to tell Arthur when he'd had the chance, before Morgana came to get them that morning, none of this would have happened, and Will would probably still be alive....

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The tree other travellers held a discrete distance from Merlin. They understood he needed to be alone right now. Morgana was talking quietly to Gwen, and Arthur was lost deeply in his own thoughts. Every once in a while his eyes flickered up towards Merlin. He knew his friend was hurting, and knew him well enough to understand he blamed himself for Will's death, even if it was ridiculous, and _not_ true. He'd also seen the tears glisten in his eyes, before his friend rode away from them. The problem was, that Arthur had no idea how to help him. Should he leave him be -what Morgana and Gwen seemed to think was the best idea- or should he go ride next to him and talk? And because he didn't know, he stayed, hoping it was the right choice.

But just trusting the girls' instincts wasn't the only reason he didn't go talk to Merlin. He had some problems of his own that needed dealing with first. Something was bothering the young prince of Camelot, and -annoyingly enough- that something was Merlin. There were certain things about his manservant that just didn't add up. Little things, very easy to miss, but Arthur hadn't missed them. After all, he was trained to notice more things than most people: that fire, that had just appeared out of thin air when Merlin took over from Morgana, had been a lot bigger than it should have been; the whirlwind (granted, that could have been Will), all those other little things he'd noticed back home (because God knew, ever since Merlin came to Camelot, strange things had been happening there too). And last but not least, there was the way Merlin had been acting that morning.

All these things together led him to believe it hadn't been Will who was the sorcerer. But if he hadn't been the sorcerer, there was only one other possibility. Once more, he glanced up at the back of the boy riding in front of him. Could he be right? Could silly, clumsy, idiotic Merlin be a sorcerer? He _really_ didn't want to believe that. Didn't want to believe Merlin would have, _could _have lied to him. Merlin didn't lie. And it was just a suspicion, right? There was absolutely no proof Merlin could do magic. He wasn't gonna lose Merlin over some stupid theory. But even as he thought that, he realised, that even if he was absolutely sure Merlin was a sorcerer, there was no way in _hell_ he would tell his father. He didn't care about 'the laws', they were wrong. Merlin was his best friend, and he wasn't an evil person, even if he could do magic.

Arthur looked at Merlin once more. He wished the boy would just tell him the truth. But then again, he could understand why he hadn't, after all, Merlin had no way of knowing how he would react. But even though he knew it was selfish, he was slightly angry at his friend for not trusting him. So should he save his friend the trouble, and confront him about his suspicions? Part of him really wanted to see how his servant would react. But no, he decided, as he joined Morgana and Gwen in their hushed conversation about how they were gonna explain their actions to Uther, what kind of friend would do that? When Merlin was ready to tell him, he would know the truth.

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Reviews, I beg of you! This is the very first story I posted here, so please, tell me what you think!!


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